Dearest Douche Bag!

My post tonight is brought to you by: My temper!

Have you ever gone into a store and when you return to your vehicle you are shocked to see the 12 in space the D-bag parked next to you left??? 

 Well that was a scenario of mine this afternoon. Now let me just share in case you don't have kids that when you have a small infant you usually carry them around in their car seat until they are able to sit up in the basket by themselves. In order to get this bulky car seat back into it's base you must have ample room to open the door.

SOOO as soon as I see this immediately my temper just flares. I am seriously not a gal of confrontation, so I never usually say or do anything I just like to moan and groan about it. But today, today was a different story. I looked at my Mom and said " I am going to leave them a note, I am so damn mad!" I rummage through my purse and find my special post-it notes (Thank You Sheila, they do come in handy) and write them a note. It read as follows.....

"HEY DOUCHE BAG (I used all caps so he would know just how mad I was) WHEN THE PEOPLE NEXT TO YOU CAN'T EVEN GET IN THEIR CAR, YOU MIGHT BE PARKED TO CLOSE. YOU LOSER!"

I wanted to be really vulgar and use some really nasty language but I chose to go with douche bag because let's be honest, that word goes with just about any situation.  After I was done writing my little love letter, I kindly asked my Mom to go stick it to his window (because mostly I'm all talk).  We chuckled as we pulled away. To be right honest the wind probably blew it off before they even got back to their car, but I want to pretend they recieved the note and have decided to check both sides before parking.

I hope my child-like temper has entertained you this evening!

Funny for the day~

We are sitting here tonight, and Brett is playing Call of Duty on

his play station. When you play online you are playing with a

bunch of other people. If they have headsets they can speak into

them and you can hear it. Well this guy starts talking but his

voice is echoing non-stop like his speaker thing is broken. So

our conversation is as follows....

Brett-"I hate it when they do that!"

Me- "How come it does that?"

Brett- "Cause their setting it like that"

Me- "Their sitting on it????" "Why would they sit on it?"

Brett- (Just stares at me) "WHAT?, Noooo it's a setting on their

playstation, they can SET IT like that so it does that!"

Me- (Totally embarrassed) "BAHAHAHHAHA"

When I'm on the computer I have a hard time multi-tasking and

paying attention to other things, so we have conversations like

this ALLL the time. Thank You babe for putting up with me and

my stupidity!

You say suck eggs...I suck eggs!

It's no secret that I am quite possibly the most gulable person alive. I guess I just trust that when someone is telling me something it must be true. Most of the time..ok all of the time I provide great laughs for many people ALLL at the expense of my pride!!! This story is no different!

It begins like this.

We went to my Aunt's house to celebrate my Grandma's birthday last week. My Aunt has always had really cool exercise equipment. If it was new and great, she had it.  We had been there oohhh about 30 mins when I walked into her toy room to see my niece and there is my sister trying out my Aunt's new Ab Circle Pro. We both had just recently been talking about getting one of these cause they look so great. She hops off and say's "you try it, it's harder than it looks". I get on and away I go (I currently have a 6 pack because of it). After a minute of trying all the different ways to work muscles my sister say's to me

" Now sit up and put your hands on your hips and try it!" So what do I do????? I sit up and place my hands on my stinkin hips and begin to try and move my legs. DENIED!!!!!! I lunge forward and barely catch myself. I look at my sister who is currently rolling all over the floor dying of laughter (yep she's 28 and still get's a kick out of humiliating me) and say

" You idiot!" Like she didn't know that it wouldn't work. Once again I am TRICKED into making a fool of myself! Thank You Jamie for bringing me down a few more notches. I now need therapy for my Ab circle Pro disaster. I will never be able to get on one again without terrible flash backs!!!!!!

Hygiene 101

Today's post is about hygiene. I would hope that most of us were taught at a young age how to wash our hands,cover our mouth when we cough,USE TOILET PAPER when we go potty and to be quiet when nessessary. RIGHT??  Well in my travels this evening I was sadly mistaken. I was revolted at how completely and udderly discusting human beings (mostly women) can actually be.

Case 1- My husband and I went to Denny's tonight (mistake numero uno). It was time for Baylor to have a bottle so I went into the ladies bathroom to get some warm water (mistake numero dos). As I was waiting for the water to warm up (Denny's your plumbing sucks) this.....lets say "foul" women walks into the restroom. She was walking so fast she left a trail of smoke behind her. She slams the stall door shut and proceeds to sit down (at least I think). I finally got the warm water I needed and decided I better go potty before sitting down to eat (mistake numero tres). In most public restrooms they have a dispenser for the toilet paper. Sometimes you have to stick your hand up there to make sure there's toilet paper or to roll the paper to get to the free end, in doing so it usually makes noise as you pull the toilet paper out. Ok so I just step inside the stall as my stall mate finishes business. Not only did she NOT WIPE (I heard no paper dispension) she leaves the restroom with NO HAND WASHING (and in her case it was an absolute nessessity,TRUST ME) AND she leaves me with a pleasant smelling reminder of just why she was walking so fast in the first place. Thank You, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

Case 2- After regretting my dinner at Denny's we venture to our regular date night scene, WalMart! Wouldn't you know that as soon as we get there I have to use the restroom AGAIN. In this WalMart there is only one restroom I will use and it's at the back of the store. Some how I got it in my head that it's the cleanest one there (it really isn't either). As I'm walking into the restroom I can hear what seems to be grunting and sure enough, as I sit down I hear this lady GRUNTING! This poor thing sounds like she is pushing something out the size of Texas!!! I kind of chuckle and finish my business. I walk out and start to wash my hands (what a concept). Soon enough my case #2 stall mate waddles out and walks right past the washing stations and heads out to her idling scooter. WHAT????? I serisouly just sat there looking at the door, thinking "Maybe she had to go out and grab something, she'll be back to wash her hands." NEGATIVE!! She never returned. BLAAAAHHHHH (that's my gagging noise). I dried my hands and used a whole handful to open the door. Just in case whatever she was squeezing out was left on the handle.

Honestly folks is it that hard to wash your hand? Is it that hard to USE TOILET PAPER?! I'm all about going green and trying to recycle and stuff, but I think not wiping is going a little to far on that spectrum. So please, if you use the restroom at all (most humans do) PLEASE use toilet paper and WASH YOUR GERM INFESTED HANDS!

My secret obsession!

 We all have obsessions...well...maybe obsession is a little intense for what I'm trying to say. How about craving or even a desire for something, or maybe even someone. I too have a craving/desire. I am little ashamed of this "craving" of mine. I am ashamed because A.It's absolutely repulsive and B. I make my husband participate! Do I have you guessing yet?? Ok Ok here it is.................

 YEEEUUP that's right! I friggen love this show and every time I watch it, without fail I am shaking my head and I am so embarrassed for them. I cannot believe there are girls out there that act like this and have no shame what-so-ever. So what is it about this show that keeps me watching?? Is it the innate tendency of a women to just love drama? or is it that it makes me feel so much better about my life and my life choices thus far? I'm thinking possibly it's a little of both. It's like driving past a car accident, you can't help but look. Through out the whole episode I think to myself "UHHH these girls should just be so ashamed of themselves!..What would their families think?" and now all of the sudden I sound like my mother! Ok so there it is. My crazy sick OBSESSION! I wanna know what some of your "obsessions" are?

Lets try this again!

Soooo we have a different blog but the other day I decided I wanted to try and get creative with it and well.....I sucked at it. I couldn't even begin to fix it so I threw my hands in the air and made a whole new one. MUCH EASIER!  I wasn't a very good blogger before but I promised myself to try better.  NOW.....what to blog about......!